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Camera moments
Wednesday, May 9, 2007

You know those moments you just wish you had a camera at hand to capture a scene? I had two of those moments, today.

***

On my way home, I take the "north" highway-which-does-not-look-like-a-highway. Today, something extraordinary happened on the highway. And no, it was not the discovery of yet-another-enormous-pothole. I was driving in my lane (well there are no lanes... no need to, really, after all that is the unique Lebanese way of doing things; but by lane I mean line of traffic) at around 40 km/hr (due to moderate traffic) when all of a sudden, a jeep came up right next to me. I turned my head to check out what was the matter as the jeep was keeping up my pace even though it could go faster in its own lane. To my amazement, I saw two guys (aside from the driver), one in the front one in the back, with their windows rolled down, holding RIFLES, staring at me. At first I ignored them. I was so shocked that I turned around again to check out what the hell this was all about. Even by Lebanese standards it is unusual to see people going around in unmarked jeeps, with windows rolled down, and holding rifles. Then, one of them moved the rifle a bit out of the window, to make sure that I saw it. He then put his arm out of the window and gestured that I move to the right. What the hell? At first I did not know what was going on. So I moved a bit to the right. Then, I realized what was actually happening. It was actually a 3-car convoy, with the jeep leading it. All three cars, including the jeep with the armed gunmen, were unmarked in any way whatsoever. The last car in the convoy was a black brand-new Mercedes-Benz. It, along with the other 2 cars, bore standard/regular license plates. The mixture of shock and amusement soon wore off, since the cars actually passed me and disappeared into the traffic. Then, somehow, I don't know how, it so happened that I actually found myself having caught up with the convoy. To my amazement the man sitting in the front gestured again for me to move away, to the right. Being the trouble-maker that I am, I gave him the most disgusted look, shook my head, looked back at him, shook my head again, and not only did I not move away, but actually cut them off.

I was told by the person sitting next to me, that I should not be doing such things, that it was risky, and that on another occasion they might actually get out of the car and beat the crap out of me. I had to laugh out loud at that. First: beat the crap out of me?? The last time anyone tried to do that (and no I do not have a martial arts belt) they not only wished they had not thought it a good idea, but that they had not even been born, so as not to think it. Second, I am supposed to take their crap because they might beat the crap out of me??? What kind of twisted logic is this? And who are these people? Their cars are unmarked, their license plates regular, and even if not, then so what? If they are officials, then officials get paid to do their jobs rather than have red carpets rolled out for them on highways as if they are distributing money to the people from their pockets. And what are unidentified gunmen doing going around and threatening people like that???

***

Speaking of cameras: I passed through a red light today, and I was unlucky enough to have one of those camera thingies (courtesy Hariri, Inc.) snap right at that instant. I thought to myself, what the hell, why do I have to be so unlucky? Then I chuckled, and told the person riding with me in the car that the state of affairs in this country can be summarized when you look at, on the one hand these cameras that are supposed to catch traffic violations and other wrong-doers; and on the other hand the release of Mark Hoayek's shooter.

***

By the way, have you been noticing the fancy brand-new American-donated Internal Security Forces black Ford Explorers touring around the Hariri, Inc. part of Beirut? Did you also notice they almost never leave the Hariri, Inc. part of Beirut? I saw one today. It was stationary. The driver and the rider next to him had parked the car in the shade and were sleeping.

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posted by Angry Anarchist @ 5/09/2007 10:55:00 PM, ,



The City I Love
Sunday, February 25, 2007

Well well, I have been tagged to talk about the city I love.

I don't know if small towns qualify, I assume they don't, so I will not talk (extensively) about my favourite town Shusha in Occupied Azerbaijan, with its breathtaking beauty and simplicity, its pulverized roads and empty streets, the few Ladas that are a luxury for the few inhabitants that have been able to appropriate them from the fleeing expelled Azeris, the uphill climbs that you have to labour through while the kids laugh at you as they run from one street to the other and you wonder, what the hell, do they have imaginary wings? The ghost town called Shusha, with its amazing mixture of Azerbaijani-Turkic and Persian architecture in what remains of its houses and buildings, the Persian Mosque that was spared from destruction for fear of Iranian retaliation, this place so void of... hope, people, life... So... lifeless, so saddening, so... unnatural in the absence of its original inhabitants, yet so beautiful... a town whose hope hinges on the sound of a car, signaling the arrival of foreigners who would perhaps bring help, candies to the kids, clothes, anything. What more can I say, these are the victims (and tools) of nationalism. So poor, so uneducated, so manipulated, and sooo neglected. Instead of building houses, helping people survive, the first thing their 'leaders' did was renovate the church, another tool for manipulation. Foreigners go there on a sort of clownish 'pilgrimage' to a land they call 'theirs', a land they say was 'liberated' (another word for the ethnic cleansing of its Azeri inhabitants), to encourage the misery of these people. Some of them could not even live for half a day in the houses that the war they cheered for destroyed. I saw some of the American girls, they were extremely upset, one of them was crying. Not for the miserable conditions that the war had brought about for the current inhabitants or the previous expelled ones. But because they could not find a toilet to use and they had to relieve themselves au naturelle. These people should be condemned to ten years of hard labour in one of the Azeri refugee camps. That should teach them the meaning of 'liberation'.

Got carried away for a bit there, didn't I...
Back to the city I love... I suppose it'd have to be Las Vegas. OK, OK, I am joking. What were you thinking, geez, these people have the statue of Lenin in the heart of capitalism. They must've been truly pissed off to do something like that. Ideological bankruptcy calls for desperate measures and equally desperate symbolisms.

So it is Beirut...
  1. بيروت العروبة - The Beirut of (the dead) Arabism whose inhabitants insist that Arabism is alive and kicking while chanting "Allah, Hariri, Tarik Jdide" or "Allah, Nasrallah, wl Dahiye kella" or "Aounak jeyi min Allah?" etc etc. Lest you think we are not diverse, we also are home to a sizeable population of clowns who insist Beirut is (not was) Phoenician, and that Lebanon is god's chosen country. Not only did these people prove that god exists, they also know that it is god's chosen country. Tell me, how, how? can one not love this city?
  2. بيروت "أحبّ الحياة"ا - The Beirut of "I love life". Oh yes, you didn't know? We love life. Wallah.
  3. بيروت الدراجات الناريةا - The Beirut of motorcycles. If you want to know what it feels like to want to kill someone, all you have to do is spend a few hours (if that) on the roads of Beirut, and then you will want to run over every single motorcycle-rider you see. Another great product of a great (god's chosen, don't forget) country.
  4. بيروت "وقعت بالجورة اليوم"ا - The Beirut of "My car fell in the pothole today". Not only do we love life, we also like it rough... Life, or rides, I mean.
  5. بيروت المطبّاتا - The Beirut of speedbumps. That's right, we only recently discovered speedbumps, so we are experimenting with them on every street.
  6. بيروت أضواء وإشارات المرورا - The Beirut of traffic lights and signs. "It's red, what was red again? Green is stop, red is go, right? Yalla go! No one stops anyway!" or "ya Elie, turn off those traffic lights, and call them to send a 'traffic policeman' to take care of the traffic!"
  7. ا"فلّوا من بيروتنا"ا- "Leave our Beirut". Didn't you know? Beirut belongs to some Lebanese and not others. To find out if you qualify for ownership or not, please contact Walid Eido at home (+961) 1 782782 or at his office (+961) 1 982100. But be careful, if you scare him, he will sell his blood to buy weapons. Don't come back (if you live to tell the tale) and tell me I didn't warn.
  8. بيروت العنصريةا - The Beirut of racism. "I got me a Sri Lankan maid today", "I retrieved my escaped maid today", "dirty Syrians", "dirty Palestinians", and the latest trend but definitely not a new phenomenon, "dirty Shi'ite".
  9. بيروت "راحت الكهرباء\إجت الكهرباء"ا - The Beirut of "the power went off, the power is back on". We even love life (and especially so) under candlelight.
  10. Did I say Beirutis love life? Yeah, we are unique. Really.
Um, well I have some more... may I?
  1. The falafel mixed with the (literally) breathtaking air of Beirut. You just can't not enjoy it.
  2. The cars that have passed the 'mecanique' test I don't know how. I think it's part of the I love life campaign.
  3. The 'jeeps' that are used for driving 'tests'.
  4. The non-standard-size official cards, a driver's license card being twice as big as the ID card.
  5. The $200 that I have to pay to get a Lebanese passport that Bush, Condie, et al would gladly use for toilet paper.
  6. The 'students' who come to university dressed up as if they are going to a wedding party.
  7. The 2-lane bridges that take more than 4 years to construct.
  8. The people who jump in front of your car trying to cross the street.
  9. The people who run across the highway, when the pedestrian bridge is only 2 meters away from them.
  10. Oh, we need "I love life" billboards to remind us that we love life. Yes, Beirut is so good that sometimes we forget that we love life. I mean, who wouldn't get carried away?
Beirut. The city I love (to hate). No no, I can't possibly say that. What would become of me if Walid Eido reads this post? No no... it should be: Beirut... the city I love. Do I qualify to claim ownership of Beirut, O wise man, O king of kings, O master of Beirut, Walid Eido???

So what should I do now, tag other people with the same question? Sasa? How does it go?

Edit: I tag... um.. the guys (?) over at Remarkz (any taker? Bech? something fun for a change, eh? :P ), MFL, and Mr. Propagandist. :P

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posted by Angry Anarchist @ 2/25/2007 04:00:00 PM, ,